It’s ironic that two posts ago, this was the topic of my post. However, it’s different this time, because I’m writing about the fact that sometimes I just don’t want to talk to anyone.
What people don’t seem to understand is that introversion is different for everyone. One of the best definitions I’ve heard about the difference between introverts and extroverts is that introverts give energy to the people they interact with, and so interacting with people is tiring and introverts prefer their own company. For extroverts, they get energy from their social interactions. It perks them up.
My type of introversion is something that I guess people would compare to depression or moodiness, in that I just don’t want to interact with people and if I do, it’s usually snappish. It’s nothing personal, there’s nothing wrong with me, you don’t need to help snap me out of it. Just leave me alone and I’ll be happy. On another day, or maybe even later in that day, maybe I’ll want to interact. Just. Not. Today.
Seriously, for my parents and friends, it apparently comes off as ‘what’s wrong with you, do you need something, why are you so cranky, you don’t love me anymore because you didn’t talk to me today’, etc, etc, etc.
I’ve had people swear they’re introverts but somehow they talk to cashiers like they’re best friends and talk up customers and know someone on every block – I seriously don’t get that. I don’t talk to people I do business with, whether I’m the customer or the service provider. I don’t ask questions because it’s none of my business, and I don’t want to know anyway. I just don’t have the energy to care about everyone else’s problems. I have a small circle of family and friends that I care about, that I love, and that I want to know everything about them. With them, I try to be open and honest, and I try to spend time with them, on the phone or interacting or whatever (though I’m absolutely terrible about it with people I don’t live in the same city with), but anyone else? Forget it.
I’m not exaggerating, I’m not embellishing, I’m not whining, I’m just stating. It’s absolutely exhausting for me to talk to people day in and out everyday, with the people I see in person. It’s even harder when it’s people I don’t see regularly, even if I love them with my whole heart.
Today was an introvert day. I wanted my own company and no one else’s. Unfortunately, today was also the Greek Festival, which means that was impossible. I tried my best, but today just wasn’t my day.